You’re about to change your life.  The more honest you are, the more you will find yourself doing what you love, with people you love, in places you love.  You’ll realize that nothing really true is ever unloving, and nothing unloving is ever really true. You cleanse by telling yourself the truth- but make it the whole truth. The path to integrity turns inward before it leads outward

If you think that you could get a little closer to your authentic self, I suggest you start with a mental cleanse:  one day of total inner honesty.  Now, I don’t mean shouting from the rooftop “I hate this freaking job!” But what I am suggesting is that not being honest wreaks havoc with our mental and physical health and obscures our happiness. Do you honestly want to have dinner with that particular friend? Is your “I’m sorry” a true apology or little white lie to smooth things over?

When we lie to fit in, or to succeed,  or to get approval, we might think we gain the world- a tiny piece of it anyway-but, in the process, we lose our sense of being true to ourselves. Believing our own fibs (“Oh I’m fine!”  “Of course, I don’t mind!”  “Sure, I’d love to!”),  we gradually lose access to the deep truths that allow us to be and honor our authentic selves.

SELF-REFLECTION & HONESTY CHECK-IN

If this idea speaks to your soul, try out the following:

  1. Grab a timer, a pen and some paper or journal.
  2. Next, Set the timer to go off at a time when you can put aside what you are doing- whether it’s in 30 minutes or a couple of hours later.
  3. Then, at the top of your notebook page write: “AM I LIVING MY DEEPEST TRUTH RIGHT NOW?  Close the notebook…
  4. When the timer sounds at the hour you previously set, it’s time for an honesty check in.
  5. Open your notebook, reread the question, take a deep breath in-  Let the answer rise up … Exhale slowly. Whatever you were doing when the timer went off, wherever you were, whoever you were with – do those choices feel perfectly honest? If you are not quite sure, don’t worry. Just asking and waiting will gradually reveal YOU to yourself. The truth isn’t something you think up, it’s something that arises by itself from deep within.
  6. Notice how you feel. Do the quick, anxious responses from your mind differ from the peaceful knowing that wells up from your center?

When you try out the first few honesty check-ins, you may notice nothing at all. Or you may feel twinges of nerves or wisps of sadness come over you.  Ask  yourself, “What could this sensation be trying to tell me?”  If no answer arises, that’s okay. Just write ” I don’t know,” set the timer again and repeat.

CLARITY TAKES TIME

When a new truth comes up, it may be a simple yes or no, or a flood of realizations:  Maybe you don’t want to say no to your mother for fear of loosing her love. Or you hate the business trip you’re asked to attend but worry about how you’ll be perceived, or you’re dying to be seated outdoors with your partner rather than be inside but you avoid asking for what you want so not to impose. Write down everything that comes to mind without judgement. If you find yourself engaging in pure authenticity, write about that joyful experience!  With each check-in, you will come closer to your real, moment-to-moment truth. Over time, when you become more aware of the ways you deceive yourself, you may begin to make subtle (or not so subtle) behavioral shifts.

That wild creature- your true self, will come to you, then trust you, then guide you home, one day at a time.

BREAKING THE CHAINS

When you begin to choose authenticity more often, obligations may feel burdensome, but you learn how to honor your true self and your relationships with others with integrity and honesty. Unwanted relationships will wither and the better ones will deepen and blossom.

If this exercise seems too difficult, remember that it’s a practice- a conscious choice.   The famous author and speaker, Brene Brown said it best, “Authenticity is not something we do have or don’t have.  Authenticity is a collection of choices we make everyday. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”